I Got Closure

•January 11, 2010 • 6 Comments

The day after tomorrow it will be 3 months ago that my left leg exploded. I wrote about it in my 3 previous posts. 2.5 weeks later, after having left the hospital, I was told that setting year’s end as a goal for the wounds to heal would be very unrealistic, I’d better add a couple of months to it, so March/April.

As you might have guessed with such an introduction, all wounds are now closed. Yesterday the biggest one, at the ankle, closed. It was not year’s end, but I stayed close. According to my wound nurse it is close to a miracle and I seem to have set a kind of a record…

Well, it was time for some luck to happen. But it has come with a price. I have never been so tired in my life, maybe with exception for the time, 30 years ago, when I had a more than severe hepatitis A (bilirubin 2,500+) which put me in bed for 13 weeks and on a diet for 9 months…. I must admit, that this was worse, far worse, than the fatigue from the chemo.

But it is far from done. The skin of my left leg is one big allergy, caused by the wound coverings, although they were the most delicate on the market. And it will take probably up to half a year before reaching the point where you can say that you can hardly see where the wounds were, if ever that moment will be reached. At the moment, I do have a number of craters in my leg (a golf court for elves) as well as a whole series of dark spots from upset blood vessels.

And the question is what the neuropathy will be doing. During the last 2 months the combination with the wound healing has been pure hell, especially as the neuropathy went back to where it was over a year ago. This means that I probably will have to wrestle my way back to where I had gotten just before my leg burst. But then life is all about challenges, isn’t it?

For now I would like you to rejoice with me as I got closure.

Healing Hurts

•December 16, 2009 • 4 Comments

Let’s start with the good news, for a change. According to the nurse who supervises my wound care, my leg is behaving exceptionally well. In her words: “In the 23 years I’m doing this work I have never seen anything like this. The speed at which the wounds are healing is unheard of.” Especially remarkable is how clean these wounds are.
Continue reading ‘Healing Hurts’

Piping 2 Tunes on 1 Leg.

•November 10, 2009 • 3 Comments

I think nobody, including myself, realised what could happen when my existing condition would start to mingle with the new one.

Let me bring you up to the latest first. Today is my first antibiotics free day (apart from the prophylaxis which will take another 18 days). It’s about time, as my stomach did have serious problems coping. Hopefully it will also help to lessen the fatigue.

Continue reading ‘Piping 2 Tunes on 1 Leg.’

Why not sing a different tune?

•November 3, 2009 • 4 Comments

Let’s sing a different tune this time, I have been trained for it, haven’t I?

Since my last post here, things have been slowly improving. I was able to attend a conference in Munich for a week (thanks to a dear friend who drove me), went to see my parents (2 hours single train trip) for the first time in 1,5 years, went to visit friends outside town. My head was improving, I could concentrate better, I finally was on the way up. Until…

Continue reading ‘Why not sing a different tune?’

Anniversary

•August 11, 2009 • 2 Comments

Its three years today. Three years ago that I got my first round of chemo.

It was my intention to use this blog to write about what happened in the months between the diagnosis and the actual start of the treatment. The stories about accumulating medical errors, an oncologist who changed the tumor classification or who forgot half of the tests he had to do. A second opinion on the tissue that came back showing it was performed accepting assumptions made in the original test (“coloring positive for CD120, according to hospital, sample not included” – I know that phrase by heart). The re-growth of the tumor with the open surgery wound on top of it. The last month spent in bed because the bulge hanging from my bottom (remember, it was originally diagnosed as a haemorrhoid) was so big that walking had become quite difficult and the pain caused by the growth and subsequent pressure on the open wound was becoming difficult to handle (I lived on 3200mg ibuprofen per day). All that I had wanted to describe in detail.

Continue reading ‘Anniversary’

The Lyrical Experiment

•June 15, 2009 • Leave a Comment

As I announced in my previous post, I went to see the pain physician on Friday June 5. My oncologist had recommended a specific doctor, but I got another, as the pain department policy does not allow appointments with a specific physician. I consider this an outrage, as pain is one of the most subjective and intimate issues in care.

When I entered the room I was told that my file had already been read. Maybe it’s due to previous experiences, but I would have preferred to hear “good morning, please have a seat, I went through your (paper) record, do tell me how you can think I can help you”. Unfortunately, that was not how I perceived it.

Continue reading ‘The Lyrical Experiment’

A strugle called Ritalin

•June 4, 2009 • 6 Comments

It’s a while ago since I last wrote, despite my idea to have a regular look back at what happened 3 years ago. But actuality can sometimes change things and ideas.

As might have become clear from my previous entries, one of my major complaints has been the fact that I lost my ability to focus and concentrate. So my oncologist proposed to start taking Ritalin, which also works as a brain enhancer. March 3 was the date I started taking it. It was a revelation!

Continue reading ‘A strugle called Ritalin’

Three years

•March 28, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Today it is exactly three years ago that I went into surgery to come out of it with the diagnosis of cancer. A day that has seriously altered my life.

I said I would write more about the history of the process. Well, in the weeks leading up to the 28th little happened. The assumed hemorrhoid grew and grew. 3 Surgeons had a look at it a week before and all of them confirmed that diagnosis.

Continue reading ‘Three years’

Memories 1

•March 3, 2009 • Leave a Comment

As I said in my previous post, it’s 3 years ago. I will try to write more often the coming weeks to tell the story of what happened, as it has shaped my life in an unbelievable way. However, I can’t make any promises, as things are certainly not improving and the fatigue is an ever growing burden.

Continue reading ‘Memories 1′

Set back

•February 12, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Last week it was 3 years ago that I discovered the quickly growing lump that destined my life ever since. From previous experiences I know that 3 years is a critical time span. It is recent enough to retain correct memories and it is long enough ago to realise that it is the past. Now is the time to recount the story once more and then leave it behind. The cancer story, that is, and the whole process and all the events that came with it. I can only hope that I will find myself in a similar position some time from now about my current situation as a chemo patient.

Continue reading ‘Set back’