Traveling
I am in the south of Spain, attending a conference on invitation. The organization as gone beyond all means to make this stay as agreeable as possible. There is always someone to drive me to my hotel or the venue whenever I need to go there. I really don’t know how to thank them for it.
But during these days I realized that I have almost entirely forgotten about my feelings and experiences during my previous trip, last October, to Estonia. The impact was such, that my chemobrain has almost completely blocked that part of my memory. And I must to my great joy admit, that this time I have far less problems with my head. Knowing that a year after finishing my chemo I could not watch an English movie without Dutch subtitles, I now am able again to express myself in Spanish.
But that clarity in my head also makes me realize how bad the rest of my body is functioning. The most shocking are the moments when, almost suffocated by the pains, someone comes to you to tell you how well you look. Every day, coming out of bed is becoming more of a challenge. Walking is more than painful. Not only because my legs are a living version of what is normally seen at Madam Tussaud’s but also because every step means a step into a bed of nails. For my laptop I now have to use a mouse, as my hands can not handle the touchpad anymore. To tackle the back problems that are the consequence I’m, temporarily, back to industrial quantities of ibuprofen.
My intestines live their proper life, as already mentioned in a previous entry. But there is a great difference between being constipated for at least 5 days when at home or traveling with the constant fear that the expected gut explosion can happen at any moment. Back to bandages.
The scars on my left leg never hurt as much as they do now. I have been wearing support stocking to avoid the left leg to bloat too much, but I discovered that is has a very negative effect on the neuropathy.
I can’t remember if I ever mentioned the problems with my mouth. Ever since the chemotherapy the mucus of my mouth has been a continuous and sometimes even serious problem. Even drinking water was painful. But one gets used to it and apparently modifies ones diet accordingly. Not when you are traveling. It’s like hell.
But why complain. I’m alive and able to experience new encounters with very interesting people and get information that otherwise I would not.
I was moved by your post and I hope that you are able to enjoy the conference. Warm wishes from Boston!
Dear Lisa, thank you so much!!!
Dear Lo,
however I’m as always glad to hear from you, and I’m happy that you’re in the South of Spain, which hopefully is an agreable enviroment for you te be…I’m shocked to hear of the increasing troubles with your locomotion. Strange word. You have as always a positive spirit, but I still can imagine some of the pains. May the people you meet give you the inspiration to enjoy life as much as possible. With love,
A & L.
The conference is great, they treat me like a king and made me realize once more how important it is to share this information, as there is so little on post-chemo experience. And to also share the feeling, even though I forget it most of the time, how important it is to go on, with the help of many others, often complete strangers.
Way to go!! Great to hear that are on the move! Best way to function is to be on the move. As well within as well as without your head
Wish you well and a great en usefull time. Big hug.
Thank you Frits!!
Hello Lodewijk !! I haven’t words enough to thank you for sharing with us your points of view during the Congreso Nacional de Documentación Médica and we will never forget how inspiring you have been with your resilience, willpower and sense of humour. Best wishes. Carolina Conejo.
Hi Carolina, thank you!!! I’m very grateful I’ve been there and it was certainly worth it!!!