I think nobody, including myself, realised what could happen when my existing condition would start to mingle with the new one.
Let me bring you up to the latest first. Today is my first antibiotics free day (apart from the prophylaxis which will take another 18 days). It’s about time, as my stomach did have serious problems coping. Hopefully it will also help to lessen the fatigue.
Let’s sing a different tune this time, I have been trained for it, haven’t I?
Since my last post here, things have been slowly improving. I was able to attend a conference in Munich for a week (thanks to a dear friend who drove me), went to see my parents (2 hours single train trip) for the first time in 1,5 years, went to visit friends outside town. My head was improving, I could concentrate better, I finally was on the way up. Until…
Its three years today. Three years ago that I got my first round of chemo.
It was my intention to use this blog to write about what happened in the months between the diagnosis and the actual start of the treatment. The stories about accumulating medical errors, an oncologist who changed the tumor classification or who forgot half of the tests he had to do. A second opinion on the tissue that came back showing it was performed accepting assumptions made in the original test (“coloring positive for CD120, according to hospital, sample not included” – I know that phrase by heart). The re-growth of the tumor with the open surgery wound on top of it. The last month spent in bed because the bulge hanging from my bottom (remember, it was originally diagnosed as a haemorrhoid) was so big that walking had become quite difficult and the pain caused by the growth and subsequent pressure on the open wound was becoming difficult to handle (I lived on 3200mg ibuprofen per day). All that I had wanted to describe in detail.
As I announced in my previous post, I went to see the pain physician on Friday June 5. My oncologist had recommended a specific doctor, but I got another, as the pain department policy does not allow appointments with a specific physician. I consider this an outrage, as pain is one of the most subjective and intimate issues in care.
When I entered the room I was told that my file had already been read. Maybe it’s due to previous experiences, but I would have preferred to hear “good morning, please have a seat, I went through your (paper) record, do tell me how you can think I can help you”. Unfortunately, that was not how I perceived it.
It’s a while ago since I last wrote, despite my idea to have a regular look back at what happened 3 years ago. But actuality can sometimes change things and ideas.
As might have become clear from my previous entries, one of my major complaints has been the fact that I lost my ability to focus and concentrate. So my oncologist proposed to start taking Ritalin, which also works as a brain enhancer. March 3 was the date I started taking it. It was a revelation!
Today it is exactly three years ago that I went into surgery to come out of it with the diagnosis of cancer. A day that has seriously altered my life.
I said I would write more about the history of the process. Well, in the weeks leading up to the 28th little happened. The assumed hemorrhoid grew and grew. 3 Surgeons had a look at it a week before and all of them confirmed that diagnosis.
As I said in my previous post, it’s 3 years ago. I will try to write more often the coming weeks to tell the story of what happened, as it has shaped my life in an unbelievable way. However, I can’t make any promises, as things are certainly not improving and the fatigue is an ever growing burden.
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